She's JV to your varsity
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
