So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize