too bad you live with your parents still
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
