Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
