i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
