she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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