I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize