She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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