so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
