.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
