More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
