This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
