just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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