i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
