Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
