Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
