her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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