ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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