im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
