i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
