apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Its about making memories worth repressing
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
