No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize