when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
