But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
