I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
