I think I died a long time ago.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
