i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
