I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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