Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
she looked like the before picture.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
