I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
