Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize