I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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