69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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