I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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