hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
