Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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