My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I want her autograph on my taint
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
