I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
