So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
They have beer where we have blood.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
