A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
