this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
