I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
