Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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