i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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