this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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