Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
