now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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