good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
