We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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