im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
