I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
