glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
