Acid is not a monday night drug
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
