I love black thongs
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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