Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
