Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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