She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
