Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
