my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
